Great Expectations.

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Another year has gone by, much has been achieved and many mountains have been climbed.

2013 had many high points for Evan although the behind the scenes hard work, preparation, heartache and effort he has to put in just to achieve the everyday things that we take for granted can never be underestimated.

I should be reeling in his success but instead I feel really sad.

We have to  work so hard everyday, we  have to practice life and rehearse just to enable him to cope. We achieve this.. but he copes rather than lives.

Our Christmas day was wonderful, the weather was perfect, we walked  for hours together over the mountains. Evan was happy and relaxed and had a super time….he hadn’t had a present and had shown no excitement about the day at all. We returned to Grandmas house,  played charades and watched his favorite episode of ‘you’ve been framed’ he behaved beautifully and it went without a hitch.

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It sounds almost idyllic

The truth is I walked with a lump in my throat all day that I couldn’t swallow. It was Christmas day he should be at home exhausted from ripping paper off gifts, he should at 10 years old  have had attitude and not wanted to walk, he should have been eating chocolate and playing video games and giving me a bit of cheek! instead he was perfect..so perfect he was almost robotic.

Very selfishly I miss what I have never had, the Birthday parties, Christmas excitement and normal stuff like the cinema or friends coming to play….

In 2013 Evan achieved things  that would be incredible for any typical 9 year old. He walked the Yorkshire 3 Peaks Challenge ,26 miles over 3 mountains, in 10 hours and fearlessly crawled across  Crib Goch ridge on Mt Snowdon. But his greatest achievements on a personal level have been coping with his first ever holiday in a caravan in  North Wales, joining a swimming club and managing to swim at different pools!

Watch this space for 2014…..

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